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You Are Doing It!
Posted by: Kiana Asherah
All women need birth support.
Birth can be the most empowering event in a woman’s life. Labor and birth is transformational. Becoming a mother leaves no woman the same.
Birth can also be disempowering, leaving a massive scar of trauma.
Who do you want to be your support?
Studies show that when doulas attend birth, labors are shorter with fewer complications, babies are healthier and they breastfeed more easily.
Having a doula has been scientifically proven to reduce pain, result in less interventions and complications during labor, resulting in healthier babies who breastfeed more easily. Best of all — there’s a more positive birth experience.
Women have been programmed to believe that birth is a medical event that you need to go to the hospital for. That birth is painful. That they will likely need something to help with the pain. That their body is not capable of doing it on their own. Or that it isn’t worth the effort to do it on their own when there are other options. This is programming. This is disempowering the strength of women. This is taking away from the miraculous feat the woman’s body is designed by nature to endure.
Labour and birth is definitely work. HARD WORK. Think about all your body has to do to bring your baby into your arms. It can be intense. But it can also be calm during the intensity.
You need to train your body and your mind. You need to prepare for labor and just like any physical event such as a triathlon, competitive tennis match, a basketball game you need to prepare. Athletes are always preparing both physically and mentally.
And you know what?
Giving birth is likely going to be the most challenging thing you have experienced both physically and mentally. If you are not mentally prepared, it really doesn’t matter how well you are physically prepared because having low frequency, self defeating thoughts is going to put you into fight, flight and freeze. This is going to make everything more tiring. This is going to bring more pain in the body. This is going to make you want to stop.
I was always physically active. I liked to push my body to the limit. I completed Ironman Canada while in University. I was a physical trainer for the Royal Canadian Mounted Police service at the only training academy in Canada. I pushed my body to the limit in CrossFit, causing injuries. I knew how to push my body. But the only thing that allowed me to push my body was to control my thoughts. To know in my soul I was able to do it and my body could handle it. Negative thoughts would come up of how much it hurt and that I wanted to quit but it would usually follow with a “F*ck that I am doing this. I can and will do this!” because I knew I was capable.
In birth YOU ARE DOING IT. You are capable. Once labor starts there is no stopping it (I mean unless you go for a c-section, which has its time and place, but you know what I mean). There is no going back. This lack of control can feel scary for women. At least if you are running a marathon you have the control to stop, to walk, to quit the race completely. Birth does not work that way. And this is why you need a trainer. You need a coach. You need support. You likely will also need some nurturing.
A doula is all of these things and more. We are your coach. We start educating and training you well before the day of birth. We support you from the time you hire us. We nurture and comfort you and your family throughout pregnancy, labor and birth. When seemingly scary things happen, we assure that they are normal or we seek further attention if necessary. We are your cheerleader. We give you hard to hear peps talks. We help you find your fight. We help you get into the zone. We hold you when you cry. We empower you to find your inner strength and to move through when you feel like you have nothing left. We encourage you to relish the moments and have gratitude for all of the work your body did to create your baby and is now working even harder to bring your baby to you.
Once that baby is on your chest there is a massive shift. Your hormones change and you feel an indescribable feeling of love and self accomplishment.
You did this! You created this baby! You birthed this baby! You are a strong, fierce woman who is now a mother. What an incredible honor it is to be called a Mother. Birth is sacred. Women are scared. Your relationship with your baby is sacred. There is no other bond on earth of that of a mother and child.
This journey is yours. Your birth is yours. Have the experience you desire. The experience that feels right for you. Prepare yourself. Set yourself up for success. You are capable. You are strong.
Kiana
