I wanted to capture the story of my pregnancy and Gavin’s birth before the memories faded. It’s been two weeks now and I already forget some of the details but this is my birth story. It is exactly what I wanted and I am immensely proud of the way things turned out????

Early on in my pregnancy, I knew I wanted a natural, unmedicated birth. I knew I wanted my baby’s birth experience to be calm, peaceful and joyous rather than stressed, medicated, and hectic. I was so excited at the thought of a delivery involving my body doing what it inherently knows to do and achieving what it is built to do. My husband, Richie, on the other hand was a little skeptical.

Richie didn’t know much about birth in general but of course everything he’d seen on tv involved screaming, pain and epidurals so when I brought up the unmedicated aspect, he didn’t understand let alone really want to get on board. But I knew that with time and more information, his opinion could and most likely, would change.

When we found out we were pregnant, it was so surprising and quick that I didn’t do any research finding OB’s. So we found what looked like the most popular group of OB’s, chose them, and scheduled our first appointment. At first, they were great. Clean office, all the latest technologies and a nice staff. But as we got further along into my pregnancy, I noticed some things that just felt off.

Knowing we were going to give birth in a hospital, I knew we would need a good support team to advocate for our natural birth plan. We had found our amazing doula Vonda through our dear friend, EB (formerly known as EP) who had used her for the birth of her baby girl back in March. When we first met Vonda, it was an instant connection for us and knew she was the one that was going to help us achieve our goal. We were so excited to start planning our baby’s birth with her. She was equally as excited and open to working with OB offices/ hospitals as opposed to just midwives and birth centers which made us so excited and encouraged.

 During a regular checkup in my second trimester, I mentioned that we had a doula to one of the OB’s (you saw a rotation of 7 doctors) and she immediately changed her attitude. I could tell she wasn’t supportive of my natural birth plan and that instantly worried me. But I figured that with 6 other doctors to choose from, maybe I’d get lucky the day I delivered and she wouldn’t be it. And that it was a small hurdle to jump so I remained positive.

But as 28 weeks approached, I knew the dreaded glucose test was around the corner. For whatever reason, I already knew I was going to fail the tests. My body isn’t used to a high sugar/ high carbohydrate diet. I typically eat a lower carb/ low sugar diet so ingesting 100 grams of glucose in 5 minutes surely would put it in a tailspin. And boy did it ever. I failed pretty miserably. I was so upset because I knew this threw a monkey wrench in my plans to have a natural, unmedicated birth. Amongst my internet research, I found that most doctors want the baby out no later than 40 weeks and with most first time moms being late, this was a huge fear of mine. The words induction, c section, big baby, shoulder dystocia, etc. ran rampant through the paragraphs. Induction wasn’t even on my radar at this point. Let alone a c-section. I cried and cried and cried.

With this diagnosis, you’d hope a doctor would want to see me to discuss the results and make sure my blood sugar numbers were good but nope! I never heard from a doctor or even a nurse. Basically the office manager called me to tell me to pick up my diabetes testing supplies ( she never gave me the normal blood sugar ranges; I had to find those online) and let me know I needed to attend a 4 hour diabetes course at the hospital. When I asked when I’d see a doctor to discuss my numbers and progress, they said I would just discuss this at my next appointment, 3 WEEKS later. What if I had NO idea what I was doing? I felt like i was just being pushed through the system that is their office. Not a real person, just another chart and payment for them. I was beyond frustrated. Again, I cried and cried and cried.

After discussing this with my doula, I decided I needed to find a new OB. Someone who would actually listen to me and support my natural birth plan. She had a few recommendations and after a few visits with different doctors, I decided on a new OB. Richie and I instantly loved him. He listened to me and saw that my “diabetes” was most likely a mild insulin resistance and we would continue my prenatal care as a normal, low risk patient. FINALLY some good news.

The next 8 weeks went by normally. I assumed I would naturally start to dilate and efface and all would be good. We took hypnobirthing classes with Vonda for 4 weeks. We were calm and so ready to have our baby. At 38 weeks, our hospital bags were packed, car seat installed, and our hearts were ready. Everything was set to go, except for one minor thing: our baby.

He decided he wasn’t ready to come out just yet.

39 weeks came and went

A scare of low amniotic fluid at 39.5 weeks

40 weeks came and went

40.5 weeks arrived and all of a sudden the word induction started making its way into our vocabulary. I was so upset yet again. I really wanted that “I’m in labor!” moment for myself and Richie. I mourned the idea of no longer naturally feeling my first surge, timing them at home with candles and our sweet doggie by my side. I didn’t want the complications of an induction that would then bring on a whole plethora of more interventions. I was so fearful of all of the unknown issues. But we still had time so I did EVERYTHING to induce labor naturally. Absolutely everything.

41 weeks arrived. Nothing.

Induction was set for 41 weeks and 3 days. I thought maybe a miracle would happen in those 3 days.

NOPE.

So there I was. Wide awake at 4 am on the day of our induction. So many fears ran through my mind but I knew I had to put them aside and trust that my body would take over and do what it was supposed to do. I wrote Gavin a letter and as I wrote it I realized that was the day I was going to meet him, see him and hold him. Tears everywhere. My heart exploded at the thought of 10 months of anticipation coming to an end by getting to hold my sweet son.

We arrived right at 7:30; me, Richie and doula Vonda. We brought bagels to the staff to hopefully get on everyone’s good side???? They checked me in and by 8:30 my doctor was inserting the first round of induction medication. Each dose took 4 hours and he was planning on 2 rounds hoping my body took over naturally after the 2nd dose.

Those first 8 hours somewhat went by without a hitch. My body was progressing as it should. It was slow but it was working. I was using my hypnobirthing techniques to manage the surges and my water had partially broken on its own. My doctor decided not to move forward with a 3rd dose because he felt my body was doing just as it should.

 Little did I know that I was still 10 hours away from meeting my son.

The next 4 hours seemed to crawl. The surges got more intense and were coming closer together. My body felt so tired as they came on. I lost my focus and for a brief moment my hypnobirthing techniques were gone. I cried. I needed relief. I broke down and asked for an epidural. My amazing doula and husband kept me distracted at this point. They knew I didn’t really mean that but they did know I needed something. The nurse brought in Stadol. I had read about this before labor and knew that a lot of moms who delivered naturally took this to “take the edge off.” They gave a dose of the medication and I yelled that it didn’t work because I still felt everything. What I didn’t realize about Stadol is that it doesn’t block the surges but rather makes you not care about the surges. So I was still working through the pain but I was loopy doing so. This got me through the next 2 hours and took me into the heart of transition. When the medicine started to fully wear off, I was right at 8 cm and still had 2 to go but I quickly got to 10. Before I knew it, more people were in the room and our baby boy’s bed was waiting in the hall. I was laying on my left side as my cervix hadn’t completely effaced on that side when all of a sudden the urge to push completely overtook me. I was scared because I went from feeling normal surges to all of a sudden needing to push and I couldn’t stop it. I was checked again and it was time. I was complete and could start to breathe my baby down.

I decided to use the birthing bar that was available. This bar enabled me to squat and breathe my baby down easier. I felt more in control this way after trying to bear down on my back. It just felt wrong, counterproductive and like it wasn’t going to do anything. Not to mention at this point, I had a sudden burst of energy. I was so exhausted yet so exhilarated. I felt him start to come down and kept making sure all was okay with him. It felt like he was right there but also so far away so I wanted to make sure I was doing the best job I could. I asked the nurse if I was doing okay and she laughed at me saying “yes, honey! That’s why I keep calling your doctor in here! Because I keep thinking he’ll be out in the next push!” My husband was so excited and watching every move. Vonda was right there encouraging me. It took about 45 minutes but I felt and saw his little head pop out and then with another small push the rest of him came sliding out. At 2:41 am, September 30th….18 hours after labor began, my doctor helped his body out but let me pick my baby up and put him on my chest. It was the single most rewarding, exciting, amazing, breathtaking moment I have ever experienced. The high that I felt in that moment could never ever be replaced with any amount of drugs. My heart filled up and my body relaxed. My husband cried. I couldn’t cry just yet. It was almost as if I was floating above myself. I was holding our sweet boy that we had waited the past year for. Finally got to see his chubby cheeks. His little legs. His wispy hair. His toothless smile. His baby fingers. It was so perfect.

My doctor delivered the placenta and sewed me up. All of which didn’t bother me at all because I was holding our son. The next hour flew by. I lost a good bit of blood so I had some trouble getting to the bathroom at first but that quickly subsided and before I knew it, it was 4 am and Richie and I were left alone with our baby for the first time. He was perfectly healthy and I was doing great after water, a sandwich, M & M’s, Fritos and some french silk pie.????

The natural birth of our son was one we had to fight for but even in the darkest moments, we didn’t give up. We found people that listened to us and allowed me to listen to my body. I had a 7 lb 10 oz baby at 41 1/2 weeks. Not some giant 12 lb baby that wouldn’t fit through my birth canal like they tried to scare me into believing. I knew the whole time I was growing a baby the perfect size for me.

We owe everything to our amazing Doula Vonda and our doctor, Dr. Leandro Rodriguez. The love and support they showed throughout the whole process is exactly what we needed. Doula Vonda fielded numerous texts, came to many appointments, calmed fears, supported our wishes from the beginning and just generally supported us until the end…even now! She has the kindest heart and is truly in the perfect profession. Dr. Rodriguez made our dream come true by believing in my body as much as I did. I joke that I miss him now because I was so used to seeing him 2 x a week for the last 4 weeks of my pregnancy. We want to thank him but we don’t even know where to begin because a thank you just seems so small compared to what we feel inside. We are so lucky to have found him!

And that’s that. I am so happy that I could write this and be able to have the happy ending I so desperately wished for

all those months ago. Our family is complete (for now) and we couldn’t be happier.

Until next time,

Richie, Amanda, Gavin and Halen